Sunday, April 7, 2013

Some funny Stuff

Hey all!!!

Hope you are all well.

Some funny tidbits tonight.

-Calculated Risk so bullish on housing (he should know better)
-Same old stuff; buy everything now due to "great rotation" bla bla bla and bla

To be honest I am getting set up to do some serious fishing this Spring/Summer. Even if I had stayed writing on things finance, I can't be any more clear on how sentiment and herd moves have taken over things. The market is not the economy and vice versa. Bunch of cowboys trying to rip each other off. At least in a year or so we get a final answer on Keynesian bull shit from Japan. Oh, and please keep selling your gold and silver. Been waiting for the hot money to leave for over 5 years. Exit already.

My submission, for funniest video EVER is this. NOTE: Don't play if you are easily offended (I'm serious):

Have a good night.


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GawainsGhost said...

Anyone who thinks the housing market is coming back is either a complete fool or a total idiot.

I ought to know. My family has been involved in real estate since 1972. I've seen in all.

I've seen the upturns, and I've seen the downturns. I've been in thousands of homes over the last 11 years. Everything from millionaire dollar mansions to ten thoushand dollar shacks that weren't worth the land they were built on.

I sold a commercial building and got a call from the buyer a month later. "You sold me a money pit!" Yeah, well, you wanted to buy it. Now it's your problem.

Our business is down about 40% over the last year. Two years ago we listed and sold 120 houses. This year we'll be lucky to list and sell 60.

It's the banks. Our bank lost $125 million in real estate loans last year, when the feds seized Fannie and Freddie.

We haven't gotten an assignment from Fannie in months. We only get a few from Freddie each month. All the other companies we used to get assignments from have all gone bankrupt.

This is all I know about real estate. You buy a house to live in it. An older home in a nice neighborhood with good schools is gold. People will pay top dollar for something like that. You can sell something like that for top dollar at any time, provided it's well maintained. Or at least get your equity back.

But if you want to make money in real estate, and I mean real money. Buy vacant land on the outskirts of developing towns. Zone it agricultural, lowest taxes, and wait for the development to come. When it's worth 10 times what you paid for it, sell.

That's how my mother did it. She's not stupid. She's smart. Back in the 80s, she had two offices. But then she figured that two offices weren't selling her twice as much real estate. So she blew off the leases and bought an old ranch home on 7 acres way out in the middle of nowhere but centrally located among the three major markets.

Back then there was nothing out there. But today there's grocery stores, strip malls, restaurants, and subdivisions. Now that land is worth at least $2.5 million.

See, these three towns grow toghether, and then they grow to the interior. So the land there is worth a whole lot of money.

Not to mention the company name, the office and supplies, the equipment, that's worth what, $10 million?

People don't understand real estate. Forget what the mouthers on television say. They don't know what they're talking about.

You buy a house to live in it. As long as you maintain it, you'll get a return on your equity. You buy real estate, particularly vacant land on the outskirts of developing towns, to make money. We're talking about a 1000% return on your invesment here.

The real estate market is down now. Don't let any TV fool deceive you. Houses are cheap, prices keep going down. But land is expensive.

Because that's where the real money is. And don't let anyone tell you any different.

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GawainsGhost said...

Get this. I got a call this morning from Osvaldo. He's the idiot who bought the commercial building across from the court house.

He said that after eight years of losing money, he's finally broken even.

Oh, really? A $250,000 dollar loan plus interest, eight years of lost money, and now you're breaking even? Hardly.

This idiot fired the janitor who had worked in that building for 30 years, and demanded that the tennants clean their own offices. He also demanded that they pay their electricity bills.

The lawyers who occupied the building, those would be the same guys who didn't pay their rent when I managed the building, or didn't until I managed the building--"I have a lease!" Yes, and that lease requires you to pay rent.

Anyway, these lawyers all got together over the weekend and moved out. Osvaldo himself closed his office, because his clients didn't want to drive downtown. Parking is a bitch.

So, after eight years of losing money, you're finally breaking even? I don't think so.

Let's see. You took out a loan for $250,000 with interest, probably paid $45,000 in repairs and rennovations, drove your tenants out, and now you're "breaking even"?

You called me years ago and said I sold you a money pit. Yeah, I did. You wanted to buy it. You should have bought the parking lot as well.

And now you're finally breaking even. For how long?

This guy is the worst landlord ever. And the most idiotic idiot I've ever known. He goes deeply in debt, loses money for eight years, and then thinks he's breaking even?

Real estate drives people insane. They lose their minds. Hello, making money is one thing, losing money is another.

I wish him well on his new adventure. Maybe he'll break even for the next couple of years. But in the end, he'll lose money. That building was for sale for over twenty years. Does he really think anybody is going to buy it now?

Yeah, I sold him a money pit. He wanted to buy it. He thinks that after eight years he's finally broken even.

Yeah, well, hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt doesn't make you even. You'll be paying for that building for the rest of your life. And you won't be able to sell it. not for what you paid for it.

Being a landlord is the worst job ever. It doesn't pay well, the tenants are a pain in the ass, and there is no recovery. All of the laws favor the tenants. So as a landlord, you're screwed from the beginning.

If this guy had asked me, I would have told him to blow off this deal. But my client is the seller, and it is my responsibility to get him the best deal that I can.

A money pit? Hey, the buyer wanted to buy it. I am not his realtor. I represent my client, the seller. My job is to get him the best deal that I can.

When the buyer complains about it, I don't care. I did my job.

So when this loser, Osvaldo, calls and says he's finally broken even, I just have to laugh.

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